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It was Freudian psychology that really made ego a popular term. It describes one’s personality and in many cases the guilt that is often times associated with a person’s ego.
I have walked in my fair share of guilt. I have rolled in it. Put it in a backpack and carried it everywhere I went. Guilt raises its ugly head when I think I am being less than perfect. And for some reason I trick myself into thinking that beating myself up over coming up short is going to make me feel better. Wrong.
So I turn to my faith often times and say, “Look at how terrible you are. God, I am so sorry I am like this”, is a holy thing. Why do I continue to participate in the endless cycle of crucifying myself over my guilt? I remember a person saying, “what you do in any given moment is the best you can do. If you could have done better, you would have”. I don’t know if that’s good doctrine or not or just a way of letting yourself off the hook, but for now I am going with that.
It’s hard at times to be sold out to my beliefs and passions because I might fail and if I fail the guilt sets in. It comes in like a twelve-foot closeout wave, tumbling me in the white water of a wave that I know I should never have tried to surf, until it pushes me onto the shore where I arise out of the water battered and bruised.
Since I am scared of failure, I like to say, “I’ll give it a try”, that’s really just a copout. I’ll try to love my wife the way God loves the Church, I’ll try to be a good dad, I’ll try to get in shape.” I have found that “I’ll try” if I’m honest with myself is “I don’t believe I’ve got what it takes to make it happen”.
Really guilt is just the reaction of my Ego. And when I react to my guilt I am only feeding the uneasiness I already feel. It is my Ego that is concerned about how others see me. It is my Ego that makes me O.C.D. in a lot of areas of my life. It is my Ego that gets pissed when I fail at something. It is my Ego that is ill logical and it goes like this, “Good Christians never stumble, never sin. You had a fleeting thought you must not be a good Christian.”
A person’s Ego can make a person do or not do a lot of things out of fear. Like why can’t I just lay it out there to a good friend that I might have a sin that I am struggling with, why can’t I be more real with others (why can’t we all)? I only let people know what I want them to know about me no more or no less. And the times I feel like I can open up to a friend my Ego tells me, “you’ve done it now they think you’re a nut”. Like a child, my Ego always wants to get it’s way and sadly it usually does.
But I’ve realized something recently when my Ego raises its ugly head, instead of trying to fight it I let it take it’s course. Then I pick up the pieces and move on with my life. I’ve come to the conclusion that my Ego is part of who I am, for better or worse, and has molded me in many ways into the person I am today. But I am the owner of my Ego; I don’t have to partake in its silly games if I don’t want to. And I no longer engage in the nonsense of guilt because I am aware of my Savior’s grace and how he will make time stand still for me if I need it to.
To be free, you have to see yourself as being good enough, today, tomorrow, and even in your not so flattering past. We have all got to stop saying I’ll be Ok later and realize we are Ok now.
When I fall, I know that God is there for me and the fall doesn’t seem quite as bad.
The next step is to chill out on every body else and let them wrestle with their own Ego. Maybe I can even share with them a little grace a long the way.
If you had the opportunity to go on national television and impart one good piece of advice to the whole country, what would you say?
If you had a speech bubble above your head right now what would it say?
There is one thing certain about the world; it is always changing. Yet, if you are like me, you don’t always like change. Some of it is good, but too much of it can be a bit scary at times. I’m reading this book by Dr. Myles Munroe, The Principles And Benefits of Change and he says we should seek opportunities in change and not see change as a negative thing.
He is right. I don’t like change! But, change brings in a fresh wind for your sails. Take me for example; for a while I felt as if I was going nowhere that I was stalled out. For a while there I saw this as a negative thing, but now that I’ve started looking for the fresh wind I’m finding it with exciting new opportunities. This is so cliché I know, but it’s true. It is as if God was waiting to prove to me to trust Him, look for Him to do great things in what seemed negative, and get ready for a new chapter in my life. Praise be to God!
Don’t get me wrong, while I was in the thick of it I thought it was hell, but now that I am on the other side of it and things are looking great! So if you are in a state of “change” in your life right now look for the wind that is about to get you sailing again, it is much closer than you realize. For God is always “right on time”!
Got a story about change? I’d love to hear it!
If you were given a million dollars what would you do with it?
Experience of authentic community is so life giving. In community – the divine community especially – a heart comes alive.
- John Ortberg
Can someone please tell me why we try to earn God’s grace?
Tell me why, as messy people that are imperfect in everyway try so hard…
To prove that we are worthy,
To make-believe that we are perfect,
To try to fix ourselves for God
Instead we need to allow God’s grace to…
Fix,
Cleanse,
Tear down self-righteousness,
And mold us into what He wants us to be.
The silly games that we play in order to please God,
Drives me crazy.
Is it possible to be real in this plastic world we live in?
I sure hope so.
So back to the question, can someone tell me why we try to earn God’s grace?
The next time you go through a struggle or trail look for the joy of the Lord instead of the pain.
Look for His power to get you through it, instead of the trail itself.
Easier said than done I know, but try what do you have to lose?
“If you don’t need the Gospel more than the people you’re sharing it with, you ought not be sharing it with them.”
-Dan Allender
The people I want on my team could be you, but then again maybe not.
I want people that have a have sparkle in their eye.
Make me want to be a better person just by being around them.
People that are not bothered by titles.
I want the listeners, the doers, the seekers, the questioners.
People that aren’t satisfied with the current answers.
People that aren’t standing around waiting for their marching orders.
So we need to cultivate an atmosphere…
that questions itself when their not sure
that allow for mistakes and failures.
Where we never play the blame game or shame others.
But hold accountability as a high standard!
Sounds a lot like what a Christ follower should be.
And how a church should act.
